amidst a sea of incoherancy

Long story about Heather and my anniversary dinner--

I had been planning on taking Heather to this Scandinavian restaurant for our anniversary dinner, only to find that the place closed down a little while ago because of the bad economy. I was suddenly at a loss, until I remembered walking past this place called Pierre's bistro a couple years ago and Heather had mentioned that it looked cute. I looked their phone number up and made a reservation without knowing anything about the place.

Heather and I got there and noticed that they were advertising frog legs on a chalk board outside the entrance. Uh oh...Sounds French. This place could be really expensive. Did we end up at the kind of place where you don't really want to eat anything on the menu and the portions are tiny and priced the same as a used car?

Once inside, we noticed it was quite small, one waiter and someone in the kitchen. Heather looked at me questioningly.I decided that we had come this far...may as well finish. We sat down and couldn't read much on the menu because it was all in French. This was also one of those "Gulp" moments. Maybe he writes the menu in French so he can stick frog legs and raw snails in everything and get away with it?

We each ordered some mysterious French thing from the waiter (who was very friendly and nice). My dish sort of sounded like it would have seafood and rice in it. Heather's dish sounded like it would have some kind of French pasta.

The waiter brought out some bread...we tasted it and it was some of the best bread I'd ever had. Maybe it was made with frog legs? Then the waiter brought out this baked brie cheese thing. It was AWESOME! So far everything was edible and yummy...that was a good sign! When our food came, the portions were humongous (another good sign!).

I started eating mine and it was delicious, except I noticed there was no rice. So I went to the waiter and said, "I might be missing something here, because I don't speak French, but isn't my dish supposed to have rice in it?" The waiter said, "You have no RICE? But that is the main ingredient!" He went into the kitchen and after some verbal exchange, promptly came running out to my table, grabbed my dish as if it were some kind of disease and brought it back to the kitchen.

It was at this point that we discovered Pierre's Bistro is actually run by a guy named Pierre and he actually is French. The waiter came back with my new dish and said, "Pierre is really freaking out back there. He is so embarrassed that he forgot the rice. He is not going to charge you for this dish." We told the waiter that it was fine and that we were really enjoying ourselves.

A few minutes later, Pierre made his entrance. He was about 50 or 55, gruff and VERY French. Evidently he moved here in his 20's and started his restaurant. He was as humiliated as I've ever seen a guy to be. I said, "Pierre, your food is delicious!." He looked at me like I was crazy and said (In a French accent), "But of course! I know this! I made the food! But I must be getting too old. I can't believe I forgot the rice. I am so sorry about he rice. I think I am going crazy. I have no idea how I could ever do such a thing. This has NEVER NEVER NEVER happened before! I am so humiliated."

We tried to console our new French friend, but he was pretty far gone in his misery. He began talking about his family, his kids (3 girls, ages 19, 8 and 7--their names tattooed on his arm) but he kept coming back to the rice and how shamed he was. You'd honestly think his world was ending.

Finally, I said, "Pierre, I know what it is like to take pride in your work. I know this must be really hard for you. I hope time heals these wounds." He seemed to accept this response (He had not accepted any of our other condolences). Finally, he left--but then he came back with glasses of Port--"For dessert. On the house, of course."

Anyway, it was one of the fanciest, most delicious (no frog legs or raw snails in our food) AND less expensive than we expected meals we've ever had. In the end we spent about $38 total because Pierre made sure we weren't charged for my meal...not bad for a place that puts frog legs on the chalk board outside the entrance!